87. Sports bra's and lycra aren't a good idea at 29,000 feet.

88. I'd have to sign up for a new cell phone service - 2 year minimum contract!
89. My cat would bite me when I got back.
90. I froze my toes once 30 years ago. They still hurt. Why would I want to do it again?

91. Too hard to parade around in a pink thong. (And yaks aren't as cute as sheep.)

93. The time committment would set me back on getting those dance lessons started.
94. I can't carry in enough Mountain Dew to maintain my habit.

95. Because when I summit in the fastest time ever, without oxygen, I will become a national celebrity. I will become snobbish and look down on all of you little weekend climbers. Oh wait. I do that already. Still, the paparazzi would annoy me after a while.

96. Because the guide service won't provide the same kind of bottled oxygen that I get at my favorite oxygen bar in Aspen.

97. Because you'll get head lice on the approach.

98. Because there are now ordinances against sweeping amputated fingers and toes onto railroad station platforms (As Dr. Oudot did with Maurice Herzog's digits post-Annapurna).

99. Because ice is for scotch

100. Because Cho Oyu is a much nicer ski hill.

100 anda half: Because the guide says there's no guarantee I'll get to the top. For that kind of money I expect a guarantee. I get my way at sea level; I expect to get my way at 50,000 feet. Or whatever it is.

100 and three quarters: I just found out those lazy sherpas expect me to cary my own oxygen bottle and trail mix. I swear, these third worlders wouldn't make it past the mail room if they were over here.

100 and seven eighths: The guide said I have to wear a hat. I HATE hats.