To my great shame, I have never been to the Adirondacks to climb. Luckily, I will redeem this oversight with a ~9 day trip up there next week. I was wondering if you could help me with:

Route Recommendations

We are basically looking for routes up to mid 11, perferably multi-pitch but some single pitch stuff for more "relaxing" days. I suspect we will mostly want good routes in the 9s and 10s for longer climbs.

What about the new routes that are going up? Anyone have info?

Camping

Thoughts? Whats best? Right now we plan on heading to Poke-O first so we'll most likely stay there.

Town Stuff

Places to eat, stuff to check, gear shop...

Remainder

Anything we should checkout, know of, ...


Thanks for your help!

Ross

It's below the grade you're looking for, but I thought Quadrophenia (5.7 at Hurricaine) was one of the nicest routes I've ever been on.

I only did the first pitch of Fastest Gun (5.10 at Poke-O), which was supposedly 5.9, but it was seriously hard 5.9 and I hear each pitch is harder than the last.

check out Moss Cliff

The Dacks have some great road-side crags and you have recommendations for them above already, but, don't forget that you can get a real feeling of backcountry up there too.

For this, I recommend doing Noonmark. Hike up Noonmark and climb some of or all of the routes on the summit cliff. The Weisner route, for example is 100ish feet of varied 5.8 bliss in a setting that you can NOT beat. Do it on a nice weather day.

You should also do a slide climb. The Trap Dike outing on Mt. Colden his hard to beat. No, it's not fifth class climbing, but, it is something unique to the Adirondack climbing experience. There's lots of rock climbing in Avalanche Pass which you could check out while there- and Avalanche Pass is only one of the most scenic places on the planet....

Places to eat. Dinner- The Baxter Mountain Inn on the way to Elizabethtown from Keene. Breakfast- Cedar Run Bakery on the intersection of 73 and 9 (or is it 9N, I always forget) in Keene. Stop at the Rivermeade farm stand in Keene Valley for fresh product and on Sunday's there is a farmers market at Marcy Field.

I've heard a couple folks say that Fastest Gun is among the best climbs they've ever done...anywhere. You should do a route on the Washbowl cliff at Chapel Pond. You should do something at King Wall. Spend a day on the Beer Walls (do Frosted Mug, among others). Spend a day at Pitchoff and Cascade Lake. Go climb a friction slab (I'd recommend Roger's Rock at Lake George; Slip Tease-Skid Row there is an excellent 58m pitch. Little Finger Direct is just fun-fun-fun)

i agree with dalguard that quadraphenia is an awesome climb. two of my other favorites are the diagonal on wallface and gamesmanship at poko.

you may want to stay a couple of days near poko and then move to the keene valley vicinity as they are not especially close to each other. lake placid is okay for a rest day but nothing super special. the cedar run bakery is wonder and baxter mountain inn pretty good. the climbing is great up there. enjoy!

Hrumph.
You must never have: walked out of Price Chopper on a crystal clear winter day and seen Whiteface in the distance as if it were a chiseled sculpture, paddled up Lake Placid in the thick July morning fog and have had Whiteface reveal itself in all of its grandeur just 30 minutes before arriving at Whiteface Landing, or spent much time browsing old guide books from the past 100 years while inhaling the aroma of various pipe tobaccos at With Pipe and Book, nor stumbled out of the lake placid brewery after nearly freezing to death on the side of Catamount, having a "Colorado" chased down with two pints of UBU, or had fairly priced fine EYETALYUN food at "Charcoal Pit" or surprisingly good mexican at Desperados.

Def. spend a couple of days at poko - right all together are PT Pillar, Gamesmanship, Bloody Mary, Fastest Gun and Green Onion.

I guess you can walk in to Wallface and do a route (you can do in and out in a day, no problem, with days being as long as they are) just to do it - honestly, it's not a place that I feel the need to make a habit of hiking in to, but it's something to experience at least once.

Hurricane has a few nice climbs - Quadraphenia was great; Forever Wild is beautiful.

If you can find directions to Willsboro, there is some one-pitch but very scenic (directly above the lake) climbing there. see, e.g. this photo: http://www.jimlawyer.com/Picture%20-%20WindJammer-LakeChamplain_WH12.htm?picring=2 - a little different than most of the rest of the High Peaks area.

Definitely go to Barkeater Cliffs. There is a lot of (mostly single pitch) stuff there, but some really beautiful climbs. It's nice because it gets away from the roads, which seems to be the problem with most of the other well developed crags in the area. It might be more moderate than what you're looking for though - mostly 5.8-5.10ish. I really liked Eat Yourself a Pie and Mr. Clean in particular.

To really pump yourself silly, go to the Spider's Web. All beautiful overhanging cracks, nothing really much easier than solid 5.8. For easy access, you can't really beat Pitchoff Chimney Cliff, and it's unfortunate that Rt. 73 runs right by it, because there are a lot of really stellar routes there (The El is a mega-classic moderate). I don't know that I'd personally bother with the Beer Walls. I think that there's just so much more that is more scenic - where you really get up and above and get a real feel for the High Peaks - rather than staying down in the canyon.

Honestly there is just soooooooooooooo much rock there that it's hard to recommend anything.

There are plenty of free places to stay besides Poke-O, just check the guide book - though if you're climbing at Poke-O, it'll be easiest to stay there since it is a little bit removed from most of the rest of the climbing in the area. I always recommends dinner at the Carribean Cowboy in Lake Placid, and breakfast is usually good at Cedar Run in Keene (73 and 9N are the same thing through Keene, Strat... Cedar Run is just before the two diverge as the reach the Ausable), although sometimes on weekends it can be slow and disappointing. Generally the disappointing can be avoided by ordering one of the wraps or breakfast sandwiches rather than an omelette... $5 pints of margaritas at Desperados in Lake Placid are also always a good bet.

Gear shop = the Mountaineer in Keene, or EMS in Lake Placid. I may work for the latter, but I'd go to the former.

Actually, it's AFTER the two diverge, coming from south to north.

Well, it's RIGHT THERE, regardless. Can't really miss it. Across the street from the P.O.

p.s. don't get a breakfast sandwich on a croissant. The croissants are really disappointing.

Funny how I keep saying things there are disappointing but I recommend it. I guess because the stuff that's good is really good and reasonably priced!

And I think Ltl said Lake Placid was nothing special mostly because this is supposedly a climbing trip, and town is worth the special trip to go to the Price Chopper?

There are so many new routes on Poko now. Jim Lawyer's book isn't out yet, but there should be information available at the Mountaineer in Keene. A recent look around suggested to me that there are some fantastic new lines, some all bolts and some mixed bolts and trad.

Some old super classics that have stood the test of time and are good from bottom to top:

1. Freedom Flight 5.10

2. The Great Dihedral 5.9+

3. Gamesmanship 5.8

4. Fastest Gun 5.10

Old classics with terrific pitches but also some rather blah climbing. I wouldn't be surprised if these now have rap anchors at the end of the good stuff

1. The Snatch 5.10

2. Bloody Mary 5.9

3. Paralysis 5.8+ (The blah pitch here is the second traversing pitch) or Sunburst Arete (which climbs directly to the last two pitches of Paralysis).

Don't forget to check the closures. Great Dihedral was closed when I was there. Speaking of which, someone told me the closure at the Gunks had been lifted but I haven't seen it posted here. Has it been?

I guess you go to an Adirondacks where it never rains and every day is perfect.

Socialist, you have ALOT of craggers responding here. Not that there is anything wrong with craggers. They are all advising you on crags that you can essentially dribble out of your car and be at the cliff 25 minutes later. They are giving you good advice on great climbs and I am sure you will happy with them.

You're really missing out if you don't go do something that you have to work to get to. Because, THAT is something that is UNIQUE about the adriondack climbing experience.

Ya go to Poko and do Fastest Gun, and Bloody Mary, Gamesmanship is really good too. If you must do more cragging then go to the Beer walls or Spiders web (Read: STEEP),

BUT...

I'm with Strat on this one, get out in the back country and you will find and experience something that can only be had in the Adirondacks aside from the black mud up to your knees. Avalanche Lake and Wallface could be any place out west 100 miles from anywhere. There is a 5.8 that climbs right out of the north end of Avalanche lake for 3 pitches. Wallface has 1000+ of multi pitch from 5.3 to 5.12. If you don’t have all day then do Noonmark. On a rest day do a slide climb. PM me if you want more info on back country stuff.

Climbing in the Adirondacks is as much about the climbing as it is an adventure as a whole. All too many good fireside stories end up with something about Adirondack unexpected adventures….

Sweet guys! Thanks for the recommendations. Keep them coming!

I definitely appreciate what has been said so far because the amount of stuff to do is truly overwhelming. Right now, I have no idea how we plan to break up the climbing. For sure, we plan to have a few cragging days, a few backcountry-ish days (Wallface, Avalanche Lake, Noonmark), and just explore.

Of course, we are trying to watch for closures. According to here, some of RG's and others recommendations on Poke-O are out.

Whats the story with Moss? Are there tons of new routes there now? It seems like not that many in the guide. Is it climbed out?

In general, how accurate is the guide (Mellor)? Its not the Swain of the Daks is it??

More town recommendations could be nice for off days/nights.


Thanks so much!!

How accurate is the Mellor guide?



Welcome to the adirondack climbing experience.

The Mellor guide "has character" and so will you, after using it.

""Whats the story with Moss? .....Is it climbed out?""

Hahah..well just say that Mellors "Burgundy book of lies" as I like to call it, is by no means a comprehensive document. The book was written when most of this stuff was just starting to get explored. So much is undocumented....and so much can be flat out wrong in the book. (But to me that adds to the spice)

Moss Cliff is a scary place.

Hmm... maybe I shouldnt even ask. It sure does look good from the photos though.

The guy says, "We are basically looking for routes up to mid 11, perferably multi-pitch but some single pitch stuff for more "relaxing" days. I suspect we will mostly want good routes in the 9s and 10s for longer climbs."

And you're sending him to Noonmark?

Oh, and by the way, most of my climbing summers were spent in the backcountry. I've spent alot of time in the Wind Rivers, Colorado Rockies, Tetons, and Bugaboos, and back-country climbing has always been my favorite pastime. I ain't no cragger, Jack, but if Socialist actually means what he says, then by and large the roadside crags are the place for him.

But by all means, carry on with the good missionary work.

As for Moss Cliff, I've done one of the old classics, A Touch of Class (5.9) there, and both rumor and what you see suggests that there are many superb routes, all pretty hard. The old aid routes around on the right side are now new-age free climbs.

Yeah, I knew I over generalized on the cragger thing and I figured you would call me out on it. But, you don't have much right to call me out on hipping him to the fact that there is something unique and different that the Adirondacks has to offer (such as noonmark and Avalanche Pass). I made the clear disclaimer about what I was doing and why and I did not criticize the other recommendations, in fact, I recognized how good they were. And you'll note that my reply is consistent with his request for more relaxing days. So, you can go retro-grouch someone else.

So, you can go retro-grouch someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I embrace retrogroucherie with open arms, but I wasn't being grouchy, just incredulous.

Nor was I being retro. I'm saying some of the new bolted routes on Poko look really cool and you're sending a guy who is looking for 5.10 to 5.11 multipitch routes to Noonmark, with what, five 90-foot routes, the hardest a Wiessner 5.8, most much easier, with the primary attraction the fabulous scenic panorama of the high country.

Let he who is without retro-grouchiness cast the first stone.

But you don't have any right, really, to be getting up in a hizzy, calling it incredulity or whatever you want. It's not like I am trying to mislead Socialist1 into going to Noonmark to get an 11 pitch 5.11. I explicitly indicated what it was and why I felt like it is worth considering even though it isn't what he originally asked for. And I guess you missed out where I suggested the routes in Avalanche Pass which fits his description as well.

Big Slide is a better outing, climbing-wise, than Noonmark. Two pitch routes up to 5.9, and less gear to carry.

I've never been to Noonmark. This is partly because my partner on my most recent trip, a woman who follows at best 5.9 and leads about 5.4 when she leads, said "we can go anywhere you want, as long as it's not Noonmark." Apparently it was too boring even for her.

Mike and I had a nice day on Big Slide with another oldtime gunks.com'er Leemouse. There's a TR somewhere.

Big Slide is a nice outing. No doubt about it. Particularly if you want to do two routes, both one long pitch followed by one short pitch and all four pitches being steep slab/low angle face. Nice to do on a clear day and the hike up over the Brothers is classic. But, if varied climbing is your thing- then this isn't the place to go.

Too boring just doesn't jive with Noonmark, sorry toots.

toots?

Hey RG....when the heck did you get all stuck up on the numbers? Also the OP did say and I quote “We are basically looking for routes up to mid 11”. But Ross seems pretty happy to get feedback on all aspects of what’s available in the Adirondacks, which varies dramatically as opposed to the singular nature of the Gunks that seems to beg for some to go on and on digging into the minutia of the same thing page after page in these parts of late.

It's the Dacks! There's rock EVERYWHERE - so just go out and find some and climb it. Easy!

And I've had my fair share of rainy days in the dacks, strat, but I usually spend them fishing - or better yet, being lazy at home. I'll bet my peach cobbler (made with peaches from the tree in the backyard) smells better than your pipe tobacco

Socialist, there's foosball at the brewpub in Lake Placid, and Tip a Canoe in Keene has decent food (better than Baxter, I think), though the portions tend towards the smaller side... They serve beer now, I think, so I asuume it's not BYO anymore.

If it's hot out, go for a dip at Four Corners (just be careful, because although it's a great place, people seem to drown or nearly drown more often than most other places. That said, I've been going there since I was 11 and never had any problems, myself.)

And has anyone stopped by the Cliffhanger since it reopened? I don't eat lunch out much so I haven't gotten around to it.

Moss cliff is outrageously good... and from what you listed in terms of routes you are looking for, I can think of few places that compare (poko?). Anyways, not sure what people are saying re: scary, but most definitely quality.

Routes to check out: Touch of Class 5.9, Hard Times 5.9, Spirit of Adventure 5.11 (the "crux" pitch might not be the crux). Fear of Flying (OW 5.10), Creation of the World (OW+++ Bring two number 5's and everything in between). Falconer is great as well.

There was a tyrolean over the water that broke last year. Not sure if its been replaced. If not, then cross the river upstream from the parking lot (.25 mile?) and head uphill.

No trip to the Adirondacks is complete without at least one day at the Spider's Web.

The King Wall is also worth a trip... this is something to keep in mind if it is raining. I have climbed there in a steady rain, and it stays dry if it hasn't been raining too long. The actual King Wall is one of the more impressive pieces of stone on the east coast.

If you go to Moss Cliff, you might bring a knife, some rings and some webbing to replace anchors - actually, that kind of goes for most of the dacks. I guess it comes down to whether you trust the webbing - and if you do, whether you trust the little cedars they're usually around!

Thanks again everyone.

It seems most of what I was looking for has been mentioned as well as some stuff that I didnt explicitly ask for but wanted (Quadrophinia, Noonmark, ....). Im super psyched, I just hope my shoulder holds up! (messed it up on the Stand a few weeks ago)

Brian- Thanks for the Moss info. I think I may have to tackle one of those OWs. We are bringing a ridiculous amount of gear so we should be set. Also, I didnt know Kings was good in the rain. Thanks for that.

Aya- Thanks for the town recommendations. As far as anchors, I definitely plan on bringing webbing on every climb.

When I get back I'll try and remember to post up about the trip. Enjoy the weekend!

socialist - did you fall inverted off the stand. that seems to be happening to people lately on that climb.

No. No inversion.

Hurt my shoulder by overuse combined with the strain of the odd crux move. Its wierd that people get inverted, the rope seemed to run fine the whole time.

wasn't a rope issue. my friend's hands popped off the tiny crimpers so he pitched backwards.

moss cliff is not scary.

I've only done one route there, and aid route. It was a fantastic time. The rap off the top we did was kind of scary.

That's kind of the nice thing. You have tons of really stellar rock that's easily accessible. Tons that take a little effort, too...

Many thanks to all the contributors to this thread! I just got back from my first rock trip to the dacks, and the beta here was awesome. We were looking for easier climbs than the OP (5.7-5.9 mostly). Gamesmanship in particular is a spectacular route.

BTW, the closures at Poke-O were just lifted.

Two quick questions for those with dacks knowledge:

1) Where is the trailhead for Hurricane? I'd love to climb Quadrophenia. Didn't see anything obvious on 9N below the cliff.

2) What is the climb on the big boulder at site #2 at Poke-O? It is about 25' tall with a two bolt anchor at the top.


Thanks! And please keep the route suggestions coming. I'm definitely going back soon.

For #1, I remember a cairn on the north side of the road. I think the distance from Keene is listed in the guide book. Its really hard to see. Also once you are there, you're not there yet, as you need to hike up into the woods, trend right around the 1st small cliff, then back left a bit past some small broken cliffs on your right. once further up you will be at the base of the cliff near Quadrophenia but need to scramble a up a bit to get to the start of the Right to left hand crack the goes to a ledge out of view about 70' up. (That’s P1)

I was with someone who'd been there before and we still spent 20 minutes driving back and forth along the highway. It's a very small trail and the cairn is likewise very small. The book is no help. I remember once we found it we made a note of how to find it in the future. Sadly, we made this note mentally and it's already gone from my brain. I hear the new book will do better on getting you to the start of the route.

Re: Hurricane,

My two cents are that when driving from Keene to Elizabethtown, you will see Hurricane Crag on your left... soon thereafter, there is a pull off with big boulders on your left. This might be private property, but I have parked here twice without any trouble.

If you park here, you can either just head up, trending towards the cliff from the pull off... (welcome to the adirondacks).

The other option is that you can walk back towards Keene for 5 minutes or so, and hope that you see then cairn up the hill from the road. Then just simply follow the trail.

What it comes down to is not to really care if you don't find the trail, as any amount of common sense will get you to the base.

Or go on a weekend - there is usually a car or two there. Last time I drove by there were two big vans plus two SUVs (from Wisconsin! they were top roping down at the lower wall)

To quote DILLBAG.

Chirp.

Any word on when the new guide will be available? Not that I expect the descriptions to be much more explicit, but will include more areas.

The new guide is going to be fantastic. Check out the guidebook web page for some samples. Poko now has just about 200 climbs from 5.9 to 5.13, and there will be up-to-date coverage of the backcountry crags and the newer Southern Adirondack crags. The web page has a new route submission form in case you've been mis-spending your youth up there.

Presumably, the web page will provide distant early warning of the actual publication date, which at one point was rumored to be this fall.

rg -- thanks for the plug.

chip -- you CAN expect descriptions to be better. Here are the directions to Hurricane (copied from the new guide):

"The parking for Hurricane Crag is located on the north side of Route 9N, 5.2 miles west of the intersection with route 9 in Elizabetown, and 4.8 miles east of the intersection with Route 73 near Keene (and 1.3 miles east of the Hurricane Mountain trailhead). The herd path begins on the north side of the road between power poles #107 and #108. There is a large gravel shoulder and room for many cars."

Now you know how to find the trailhead.

Thanks Jim. Looking forward to it. I'm heading up in mid-Sept. Need anyone to check out a couple areas' descriptions? You know, just to make sure that even a maroon like myself can follow it?

Nice Jim, are you going to replace a few 'Lefts' with 'rights' and maybe a '45 minute approach' with some '15 minute approach'...you know...just to maintain the flavor of the Burgundy Bible?

The new guidebook is going to be insanely good. I mean really really useful. Like you'll be able to find the parking lot, and the approach and even the cliff. And the topos are good enough that you won't get lost, even on Wallface.

I can hardly wait to buy my copy.

Just a side note..if you want to stand out like a touristy NYC'er or Jerseyite up there, then refer to the place as the "Dacks" Otherwise, if you want to blend in, refer to it as the Adirondacks. Weekend warriors get pointed at and made fun of when they say Dacks.

RR

Thank you Rob! This has been a pet peeve of mine for years. I can handle the Near Trapps becoming "the Nears", and the Catskills becoming "the Cats", although that one still sounds stupid to me. But I grew up in the ADKs, and hate to hear them denigrated.

Waiting for Rumney to become "The Nee".

Do y'all all call them the Shawangunks too? And have no Cathys or Wills in your lives? Contractions are fun. Saying the whole long word takes more work. And if drawing it all out is what makes you feel like a local and "in" with the local scene then woohoo for you. Perhaps you should go spend your time in the District of Columbia...

hell yea.
daks daks daks.
DAKS DAKS DAKS
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKS

Yeah, but is it "Daks" or "Dacks"? We've seen both.

Molly....don't you have a place in K-Town??

I call it "The Honk".

First of all- you better tell that to ALOT of the locals because they are standing out like touristy NYC'ers or Jerseyites in their own yards and businesses these days.

Second, why try to blend in? The locals know you weren't born there anyway. So, who are you fooling except other NYC'ers and Jerseyites?

Third, NYC'ers living in Kerhonkson standout like a sore thumb- almost as much as a displaced Virginians, Seattlers(?), and New Hopians do!

I love it!!! The honk it is...

Especially the former death metal ner'do'wells turned into upstanding, respectable, married law enforcement officers!

No worries, I've seen proof of his roots that consisted of black leather jackets with lots of zippers, and a box of Motley Crew tap"e"s....

HOLY SHIT MIKEY WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN TO TPYE?

<<But I grew up in the ADKs, and hate to hear them denigrated>>

Yeah, after all these years the word "Dacks" still makes me cringe about as much as when I hear the sound of fingernails being scraped along a blackboard.

I suppose the reaction is similar to that of San Francisco residents hearing their city called "Frisco," which has been known to incite fairly mild-mannered people to fisticuffs.


Somehow I thought "The Honk" was the name of Learningtolead's estate (you know, like "Tara"), not the name of the entire town.

Stop calling it "Gunks" its Shawwwwwwaaaangunks...that drives me insane.

cool you & Mike Rawdon should write a book on How Not to look like a tourist / How to be a local when you're from somewhere else. Or better yet Local pet peeves that are ghey

dude.

talus said ghey.

Pronounced Shwangum or something ridiculous like that. Yorick?

It is now!

At least calling it the "Daks" is just a contraction... Instead of just a blatant mispronunciation of the name...

Like, Warshington or OreGONE

I mean what the...

I used to live in Oregon and the locals pronounce it Organ. Kind of like Bluxi.

Some say the correct Shawangunks pronunciation is "shongums," which leads, inevitably, to the contraction "The Gums."

And why aren't the adirondacks "The Ads?" For the same reason the Gunks aren't "The Shwans?"

I think there are more ways not to blend in than meet the eye. Viva immiscibility.

on the subject of "warshington," i have a theory i call the conservation of consonants.
When R's disappear in Bahstin, and people pahk there cahs, the R's reappear in the midwest, when people warsh their clothes.

How dare you stoop so low as to call me a law enforcement officer!

P.S. I knew I'd get grumpy ole Strat to bite on this one. He is predictable afterall!

I never said I was local...did I????

No... But you're pretending to be one!

Damn right. And I wouldn't hesitate to do it again and again and again. Someone has to stand up for what's right!

Do it again!

Regarding the "Burgundy Bible", I usedthat book for research more than any other, and there have been very few times that I've been unable to find a route. The style of that book takes some getting used to, and you just have to be willing to put in the extra work and time to find your routes. Sometimes it's wrong, but I *still* manage to find the routes.

You mean like willing to wade through beaver ponds and whatnot?

Beaver ponds are the bane of every north country cartographer and orienteering course setter. I can see where they would be a pain trying to approach seldom visited climbs. They can appear overnight and once left for a season will easily grow beyond belief. I know more than one orienteering mapper who kicks down fresh dams on newly mapped terrain.

Don't get me wrong. I've found the Burgundy Bible just the right spirit of less then idea information to make one rely on oneself to get to the destination. Although to those not too familiar with the Adirondacks its mostly the source of frustration and hours of wondering around in some of the most scenic terrain on the east. That being the price I always felt justified to uncover the gems in the Adirondacks.

Right, because orienteering and cartography are innately righteous over the beaver, and have God given dominion over them.

Rob is right. Beavers should know to build their dams in regions that haven't been mapped for orienteering. If god wanted a beaver dam there, he would have already put it on the map.

If those beavers keep this up, some of the orienteering enthusiasts might get LOST IN THE WOODS, and that would totally ruin the experience of...of...oh well.

Hmph!

NICE BEAVER.

I saw a beaver last night...I was a little confused

(quote from an 18 year old firefighter on a trip to Montana to fight some wildfires. Obviously, he is young and inexperienced. Well, okay, so I get confused sometimes too.)

I quess I should qualify before things get out of hand that I personally like beavers a lot and have had the pleasure of spending a few days watching them do their thing. There are parts of upper Ontario and further north where they are incredibly numerous. Sorta like how my wife's family in Sweden view Moose as big pests, getting into gardens and playing chicken with oncoming cars.

"I want beaver... How to get?"

What's the dirtiest line ever spoken on TV?

"Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on The Beaver last night?"